Marriage and Family Counseling

Choosing a marriage and relationship counselor should be done together by the couple.  Special consideration to the communication styles of both people.  Is the counselor able to successfully anchor with each member of the couple, meaning can the counselor communicate in the same style as each individual.  People communicate in one of several base styles; kinesthetic, auditory, or visual.  By this we mean they use words that express their perceptions of situations.  i.e. A person may say in response to what is said, "I see what you mean" vs. " I hear what you are saying" vs. "I feel bad about that" In each of these cases a person expresses themselves in certain styles, and it is usually these styles that they most connect with when listening to someone. A good counselor can pick up on this and adjust the expressions that are directing at a client, thus anchoring them, and opening that person up to receiving the information being presented.  Failure to anchor, results in the communication breakdown and unsatisfactory results in the counselor maintaining that objective presence necessary to counsel two individuals in a relationship without appearing like they are taking sides. 

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